Several years ago, on a episode of the show Castle, Nathan Fillion brought up the notion of the last supper. No, not that one…well, not exactly. His character Rick rhymed off the dozen famous people, living or deceased, who he’d want present at his final meal. I present for your amusement my list of 12. I’ve split my list into six living, six deceased.
I wanted to pick an incredible venue for the meal, and the first place that came to mind was Busch Stadium, home of my beloved St. Louis Cardinals. Then I thought about the Cincinnati Museum Center, the inspiration for the Hall of Justice on the old Super Friends cartoons. I eventually settled on the Griffith Park Observatory in Los Angeles, because from what I’ve seen (get it? seen? observatory?) it looks like an absolutely spectacular venue. Valet service will be provided by Vin Diesel, Steve McQueen and Daniel Riccardo.
Guests at TLS will be greeted at the entrance by Hailee Steinfeld and Jeremy Renner, and escorted to their seats by Chris Evans after leaving their outerwear with coatcheck attendant Taylor Swift. The sounds of the house band will fill the air; the vocals of Freddie Mercury, the dynamic duo of Prince and John Taylor on guitar and bass, respectively, and Dave Grohl behind the drum kit. Once the dream band has finished its set, my ultimate combo band, Depeche Muse will take over.
Once everyone is seated, our opening comedy segment featuring Lenny Bruce, Bob Saget and Robin Williams will commence. Once the blue in the air clears, the Marvel-ous (pun intended) wait staff of Elizabeth Olsen, Oscar Isaac and Charlize Theron will bring out the appetizers.
The kitchen staff is comprised of Michael Symon, Scott Conant, Dominique Crenn and Brooke Williamson. Alton Brown will be on hand telling everyone the history of the food they’re about to eat, while Anthony Bourdain will do the same thing, only in a much cooler way.
Fred Rogers and Jim Henson will pop by to make sure everything is up to scratch, and it will be, since it’s my fantasy meal. After the appetizer course is complete, our Master of Ceremonies and fellow Cardinals fan Jon Hamm will go around the table and introduce the VIPs in attendance.
David Bowie
Like there’d be ANY doubt he’d be on this list? The man has all but consumed me for the last 6+ years. Hell, I’m wearing a Bowie t-shirt as I write this post. The ultimate no-brainer for me.
Harper Lee
If David was the ultimate no-brainer, Miss Harper would be a very close second. I’ve mentioned in a previous post how she’s responsible for me becoming a writer, so basically she’s responsible for this list, too.
Carrie Fisher
The third and final person to pass in 2016 to make my list. Carrie was everything to me as a kid, and I’d want her there in case my sciatica flared up again.
Jack Kirby
My favourite comic book creator ever, the man simply known as The King was a must-have on the guest list. I mean, he created Captain America and the Fantastic Four…for that alone he’s in. Added bonus: we’d have a built-in caricaturist on hand!
Alex Trebek
The Jeopardy! host gets a spot not only on merit, but because Becky would be appalled if I left him off the list. Jeopardy! was, and continues to be, appointment television for us, and we especially loved when the lovingly grumpy Canadian was hosting the show.
Randy Savage
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH YEAH! The choice for this spot came down to Macho Man and Eddie Guerrero, but Macho won after reaching into his tights, pulling out a foreign object and hitting Eddie with it the way he did February 8th, 1986 against Tito Santana in Boston to win the Interconti…I’ve said too much.
Neil Gaiman
The author of The Ocean At The End Of The Lane, my other favourite book ever, Neil was a cinch to be here. The stories he’d tell over after-dinner coffee/tea would be worth the price of admission alone.
Jessica Chastain
My favourite actress not named Carrie Fisher easily lands a spot here. The dream team in the kitchen will undoubtedly whip up something flawless for my vegan guest.
Tom King
Who wouldn’t want to spend time with a guy who a) wrote my favourite comic series of all time (Mister Miracle, created by Jack Kirby…circle of life!) AND also joined the CIA after the 9/11 attacks and spent time as an operative in Iraq?
Tom Baker
When I was introduced to Doctor Who in the mid 1970s, Tom was the man in the TARDIS. My love of the character stemmed from my admiration for the man in the floppy hat and 12-foot scarf. He’ll always be my Doctor, and he’ll always have a spot at my table.
Ozzie Smith
”GO CRAZY FOLKS, GO CRAZY!” The man known as The Wizard is my favourite Cardinal ever, my favourite baseball player ever and my favourite athlete ever. There’s no way he wouldn’t be on the list.
Sir Paul McCartney
Last, but certainly not least, Sir Paul. I’d have to assign him a minder, to make sure he didn’t try and jump on stage..at least until after dessert.
So there we have it. Once the final guests are gone, Kat Dennings would reprise her role of Death from Gaiman’s Sandman audiobook series and, in her words, “put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me.”
It certainly feels fitting to end this with a -30- even if it’s not exactly where it belongs.
Solid list!